Raving my Faves: February

Raving my Faves: February

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As we welcome March, I can’t help but feel excited! Spring is just around the corner, officially March 20 to be exact. Spring always signifies rejuvenation and revival for me. The snow begins melting, the flowers begin to pop up everywhere, the birds chirp louder, and the atmosphere just seems so much brighter. Is it just me? Well, we’ve said goodbye to February where I got to celebrate a lot of wonderful people: my paternal grandmother, my little brother, my wedding anniversary, and we cannot forget celebrating the legacy of black people in this country. This month however proved to be a bit difficult, especially in Texas because of Winter Storm Uri. Many were left without electricity, heat, water, or even a proper place to stay. There were tragic deaths all in the hopes of generating heat. While I am grateful to have had power and water throughout the storm, it was indeed still difficult getting around on the icy grounds and cold. Thankfully the temperature is rising and the snow has melted. Yes to the heat! Let’s keep the Texans still recuperating from the storm in prayer.

While February proved to be a bit of a doozy, there are two things that made it to my faves list.

Movie: Judas and the Black Messiah

Directed and produced by Shaka King, along with production by Ryan Coogler and Charles King, comes a riveting biographical drama piece about the betrayal of Fred Hampton, chairman of the Illinois chapter of the Black Panther Party in the late ’60s. This movie made my February Faves because it captured the humanity of the movement, the man, and the mission. We got to see the vulnerability of not only Fred (played by Daniel Kaluuya), but of William O’Neal (played by Lakeith Stanfield), the man who betrayed him. The movie’s storyline flowed well and the actors in their various roles were superb in taking us into their experiences to share in the pride, agony, rage, skepticism, sorrow, hope, joy, and betrayal. I could not believe that I never really knew the story of this 21-year-old revolutionary. The state was scared of a 21-year-old black man whose words stirred up pride, dignity, and a hunger for justice and change. This young man didn’t just stir the hearts of black people — no, he got many people of different races and ethnicities on board to fight for equality and justice. You would think that this is a common story, but while some may know of the legacy of Fred Hampton, or his contribution to the civil rights movement, that’s where it stops. I just love how the story gives us a glimpse of how he could have been in real time. After the movie, my husband and I could not stop talking about what it means to be a revolutionary, especially in this day and age. We pondered over whether we were revolutionaries in our sphere of influence, could one raise their children to be revolutionary, leadership in the black community, among other related topics. We were sure of one thing though: Fred Hampton’s story is truly inspirational. He was so young, yet his powerful way of speech and his work transcended time. I encourage you to watch this film if you haven’t, and do supplemental reading of the great work the Black Panther Party did. Furthermore, do you consider yourself a revolutionary? What do you think it means to be revolutionary? Drop a comment below.

Day: 15th

The day after Valentine’s Day is my wedding anniversary date! Because of the winter storm, many places were closed and we were forced to adapt a bit, but I truly enjoyed celebrating our love and one year in marriage! It made my February Faves for the obvious reason that it is the day we said “I do” to each other. However, even more so, it was another reminder that I am married to my best friend. Something I’d like to share from that day is a conversation we were having over some wine and dinner. We touched on whether we thought the reality of marriage matches the dream of marriage — does marriage look like what you thought it would as a kid. We both gave our answers, but what stood out to me is that we both mentioned how no one really tells you how much work goes into marriage growing up. Yes, you marry someone you love and care about, but this is still an individual with their personal quirks, strengths, challenges, hopes and dreams, failures and disappointments. There will be times when a strength of yours clashes with a challenge of theirs; or a preference of yours clashes with a preference of theirs. What you choose to do during those times shapes your marriage time by time. And there are many ways you could choose to handle a situation, and everyone’s marriage is different. What stands true across the board is that you have to make the choice daily to cherish the love you have. As time goes on, we learn more and more of who we are. I learn more and more about Francois, and even more and more about myself — and vice versa. I made the choice a year ago that day to fully commit my love and devotion to this relationship, regardless of what life throws at us. A year later, I can say that while marriage takes active dedication, I am happy I chose to actively dedicate my time and love to this man.

Photo by Meru Bi on Pexels.com

A movie and an anniversary date made it this time to my Raving my Faves list! I wish I could have added more but life happens — specifically a whole winter storm in the south happened. BUT! We are grateful nonetheless. There is always something to be grateful for. On that note, do you have any highlights from February? What are you looking forward to in March? Drop your comments down below! And may you March forth in joy this month.

Love, Delz

Raving My Faves: January

Raving My Faves: January

Hello Friends! Is it too late to say happy new year? It has been a minute but here we are — refreshed and ready to really dive into our purpose this year. Though there were many setbacks in 2020, I truly believe that we have all gained some perspective with which we can approach this year.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

This year at the end of each month, I will be posting a Raving My Faves article. This article will highlight things that I liked/used a lot in the month. It could be anything: an app, hair product, book… ANYTHING. This is my way of sharing what I like with you guys while also providing consistent light-hearted content you can look forward to.

This month was one that I took very slowly. On January 1, 2020 I had been ready to take on the world with so many goals and resolutions, and it didn’t take long for things to go the opposite of what I planned or expected. 2020 has taught me the biggest lesson on perspective: though I lost some things, I also gained so much beautiful additions to my life (both unexpected). Therefore, this year I approached things differently. I made sure that more than just writing down goals, I am setting very purposeful intentions for the year. And I did this with the help of my first fave thing: my Legend Planner!

1. PLANNER/AGENDA

I received this planner last year as a gift from my sister-friend, and I immediately fell in love with it. It features a comprehensive yet easy-to-use layout. It breaks up your goals into yearly goals, 3-month goals, monthly goals and daily agendas. Pictured below are examples of what that looks like.

Moreover, there are cool features such as stickers of encouragements and reminders, a section to look back, and it creates a very practical way of laying out your small and big goals, and helps you track habits you are trying to instill. I found it very helpful this month to set intentions for the year, and also to get me out of a funk I was in. By following my habit tracker, it was easy to keep myself accountable and it’s also nice to see how I crush my goals. If you love to write out your goals/thoughts and you are looking for a good planner, this one is the one for you! Bonus: you can get it anytime because you write in the months, years and dates. That way even if you get it in March, you can begin from the first page of the book. How cool is that!

2. Avocado Toast

Photo by Daniela Constantini on Pexels.com

One of my favourite things in life is avocado (no seriously), which we often call ‘pear’ back home. And though avocadoes back home are much bigger, more flavourful and delicious, the small ones here will do. I am pretty mindful of my health, especially recently. Though I have been working out regularly, I decided to switch things up this year in my fitness routine. I won’t go into it too much right now, but one thing that I knew had to change was my diet. Your girl loves food, okay?! And I don’t want to sacrifice my taste or hunger satisfaction in the name of health. Cue avocado toast! I like mine on toasted whole grain bread with egg whites, seasoned with salt, black pepper, paprika and cayenne pepper. What can I say, I like things spicy. Think of avocado toast like your favourite pair of jeans — you can dress it up or dress it down. Don’t like pepper? Just sprinkle some salt and call it a day. Need more zest? Mix with some tomatoes and/or cilantro and squeeze a bit of lime juice. It is a delicious breakfast option that you can put your own twist on. More importantly, it provides healthy fats, carbs and protein. Health is wealth, guys. Let’s take care of our bodies, one bite at a time.

3. She Reads Truth Bible, CSB

She Reads Truth; color: Poppy Linen

Lastly, but certainly not least, one of my favourite purchases in 2020 and now my January fave is my She Reads Truth Bible. I had been on the lookout for a good study bible that encouraged me to read and study consistently, and didn’t look like a random bible you would find in the church’s pews. You know which one I’m talking about — black, leather, the pages with the red edge, with a faded name on the front. Exhibit A:

Photo by John-Mark Smith on Pexels.com

This Bible comes in different, pretty colours and finishes. It is quite large, but the features are so good, it is definitely worth the buy! It features close to 200 devotionals, artistic doodles, key verses, 20 full colour maps, timelines, reading plans for each book, wide margins for journaling, detailed introductions for each book, and a great concordance and index. This month it has been useful in keeping me grounded and creating an engaged relationship between reading the Word and applying it practically. It is written in the Christian Standard Bible version, which sticks to being as literal as possible to the original meaning while still being easy to read and clear to understand. If you (or someone you know) want to read the Bible more, but it feels daunting, boring, or even difficult, try this Bible out. You won’t be disappointed.

There you have it: my January faves. I’m looking forward to February and what it brings — the chocolates, hearts, flowers and the celebration of Black History. I’m also looking forward to seeing what pops up as my February faves to share with you. What are you looking forward to in February? Comment down below!

I hope next month brings you all the love and joy. Have a great day!

Love, Delz

When Will It End?

When Will It End?

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There’s a throbbing ache in my heart today.

It is documented that victims of trauma and/or grief express their reactions differently. There are some who become numb to avoid the overwhelming tide of emotions, while others react with anger, despair, sadness, disappointment, shock, even a mental breakdown. The trauma that is endured by the black community spans across centuries, the only difference being that with social media, we have quicker and unfiltered public access to it.

Recently, there has been a surge of filmed instances of police brutality, malicious and threatening contact of the authorities, and accusing innocent black men and women of crimes they did not commit. With every new case, my heart grew heavier and more weary. The injustice is suffocating, not far at all from the methods used to mercilessly kill these victims, and victims of the past. It was just something about the case of George Floyd that sent me into a state of mourning I have never been through. It could have just been the straw on the camel’s back, but it brought me to my knees inquiring to God, “when will they stop killing us?” My heart is heavy, my eyes are hazy with tears, my chest feels constricted, and my mind is racing. I grieve for the families and loved ones of the men and women who were taken too soon at the hands of white supremacy. I grieve for the collective community who is forced to suck it up and move on as if one of their brothers/sisters weren’t just killed horrendously. I mourn for the progress of our people and for the strength that is admired, but comes from the will to survive against odds that come from a system whose basis is prejudiced and evil.

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I not only grieve but I worry. I worry for my black loved ones in the US, especially the black men in my life such as my husband and friends. The men who are not just black, but unapologetically so; the ones who are keen to their rights. The ones whose joy and success is a threat to this unjust system. I think of my future children, and the conversation of their blackness that I was not ever prepared to give. It is different growing up black in a country that is predominantly black, such as in the Caribbean. There is this freedom that the black community here has never felt since the first black slave stepped foot on this land. You don’t have to teach them survival tactics for encounters between white and black. The conversation of race and colour is one of knowledge, of pride, and of the past; that even the subject of slavery is one that would engender rage, but the assurance still lies that it is a thing of the past, or at least something that is over there and not here. Even within my own family, the topic of race hardly came up, and when it did, it was always one of equality and love. Here, there is an ongoing conversation of racism: warped over the years, but its prevalence and potency remain the same.

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I am writing this to not only give myself the space to express how I feel, but also to give those who feel the same the affirmation that you are not alone. It is completely natural to mourn someone you do not personally know. It is completely okay to be enraged by what is going on — being angry is not a sin. [In my opinion, I’d think it strange if you weren’t the least bit upset.] It is also okay if because of this, you take a break from social media, from work, from chores, etc. This is a sorrowful time for ALL OF US, inside and outside the black community. These men and women were human beings. I can’t believe I have to even say that. No one is deserving of such a death, REGARDLESS of the absence or presence of an offense.

Point. Blank. Period.

Black men, you are loved. Black women, you are loved. Black men, you are missed. Black women, you are missed. Rest in Peace to all the victims and condolences to their families. Prayers for all the people, who in one way or another, suffer from racism here and abroad.

Love, Delz

Lessons from Mom

Lessons from Mom

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Hey everyone! A happy happy Mother’s day to all the mothers and soon-to-be mothers! I love the days where we can celebrate our parents globally, especially mothers day because through so many stories, we see how motherhood is so emotionally and psychologically invested in — that children are perpetually tethered to the hearts of their mothers. Parenthood is such a sacred calling and it can be beautiful yet arduous, so shout out to all the parents out there, especially for today mothers, who are just out there trying to be the best for their kids. I see you. I salute you.

This year (specifically in October) marks 25 years of Lilia Cadette being a mother. Who is Lilia? Why, she’s my mother! Some of yall say mom and that’s cool but to me, she’s Mammy, and she’s amazing 😁 

My mom had me in Ukraine, where she’s from, and is of Bulgarian descent. She is quiet when you first meet her, but soon becomes the life of the party with her witty, dry humor and infectious laugh (which some have said I inherited). She walks to the beat of her own drum and is unashamed in who she is – major goals! 

Mammy and her three kids ❤

The more I grow into womanhood, the closer I’ve grown with my mom, and the greatest lessons I’ve learned from her were things I’ve observed over the years. Here’s 5 things I’ve learned from my dear mom 😊

Unconditional love

The first sign of unconditional love I saw from my mom was the fact that she left her job, her family, her country behind to follow my dad to Dominica. She didn’t know where Dominica was or that it had even existed before, but she loved my dad and wanted to be wherever he was. She expressed to my dad the words of Ruth to Naomi in Ruth 1:16, “Wherever you go, I will go. Wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God, my God.” This spoke to me even as a little girl the depth of love that can occur between two people. Moreover, my mother showed me the depth of love that occurs between a mother and her child. To this day, I can call my mom and tell her things I may be ashamed of or disappointed in of myself, or things that I am ecstatic for, and she is always willing to listen. She listened when I was going through a very rough time with anxiety during my sophomore and junior year of undergrad. She listened when I expressed my elation when I just started dating Francois. She has NEVER been afraid to express her opinion, let me tell you. Have you ever had the driest remarks ever from someone? She is Queen of dry remarks! But, she never fails to remind me, whatever her opinions, that she loves me and that I think is so important in any relationship — expressing how you feel with the intention of love and compassion.

One of my favourite pictures of my mother and me. Peep our matching watches

Determination 

Did you know that besides Russian and English, my mom knows a bit of Spanish and Hebrew? True story. I don’t know how good she is at them now, but just the fact that my mother learnt English on her own by having conversations with my dad, profusely reading, and watching and listening to English media, in order to help teach her child (me) English and get work in Dominica is pretty damn awesome. I think it is also cool to note that a doctor told my mom when she was younger that she may not be able to have kids at all, and God still blessed her with 3 kids. Though she expressed that the pregnancies weren’t easy and she had to have C-sections for us all, anyone who knows my mom knows that she adores her children and she does not regret a thing. We’re her miracle babies, and she’s our miracle mom. In other areas of her life, she has been determined to succeed as well. She was a straight A student in school and she also excelled in a male dominated field (electrical engineering). Through my mother I learnt the value in having more women in the workspace and in positions of authority — there is a delicate yet powerful touch women have to anything they put their minds to, and that I have that phenomenal touch as well. I would be remiss to not apply it diligently as she did.

Working the wires

Creating bonding habits for loved ones

Family time is super important to my mom. Growing up, I remember doing arts activities with my family like painting or collecting sea shells or interesting looking rocks for collections. We would go to the beach religiously every Sunday if it was sunny and we always had to eat meals together. I remember games that we would all play together too, and movies we’d watch while having snacks together. I must admit, sometimes it would be annoying when she would wake me up just so we could have breakfast together, or interrupt me on my computer so we could play cards or monopoly or Blokus (if you guys don’t know what Blokus is, you’re missing out!). However, as an adult, I see the value in it. Especially being far from her, I crave those moments of having game time with my family. Upon recent years, my mother and I had made a tradition of taking a walk on the Boardwalk in Barbados with Magnum ice cream bars, or drinking tea and talking about life. Now that I am in the US and she is still in Barbados, we set up times to video chat with tea to keep up the habit of spending quality time together. Other activities include eating Russian-style pancakes (Blini) with honey (so good!), calling each other on birthdays via Skype and Alex blowing out the candles for us, and going around in a circle toasting with sweet words to the birthday gal or pal. These beautiful moments are what I am definitely going to carry with me when I have children of my own — creating ways of bonding that my kids will remember always.

Us celebrating baby brother, Alex’s birthday while both my brother, Michael and I are in the U.S.

Don’t take yourself too seriously 

My mammy has an interesting sense of humour. When we’re together it’s non-stop laughing and it usually consists of us making fun of ourselves. I would tease my mom on how she may pronounce her words (like the way she says “sink” instead of think, or that she pronounces ball and bowl very similarly), and we’d do impersonations of each other — my mother’s laugh is HILARIOUS. The whole family does this, but my mom is the Queen of laughing at herself. She usually tells me “Don’t take yourself too seriously”, meaning ease up and live. Don’t beat yourself up if you’ve made a mistake. If you fall on your butt, get up, laugh and try not to fall again. Life will always throw you curve balls and you may not duck in time. Some of them hurt like hell and should be treated seriously. Others just deserve a roaring laugh and some ice. I suffer from anxiety time to time, and my mom’s mantra of finding the joys in the little things and the funny moments even in chaos truly helps me live with a positive attitude.

Exhibit A of finding the funny anytime

Do what makes you happy

My mom loves adventure and appears to be care-free, and in a lot of ways she is. My mom would eat like 2-3 mangoes at a time (depending on the size) if it’s available to her, she would take a picture next to a sign saying no pictures, and she without fail does bunny ears behind my dad’s head every time we video chat together. My mom would ride all the roller coasters in an amusement park if she could while my dad lovingly watches her on the ground (HA!). She loves coffee, loves wine, and loves to dance no matter who’s watching. My mom isn’t afraid of what someone thinks when she is doing something she loves — and she constantly tells me to do the same. If you want to start a business, do it! If you love music, why don’t you pick up an instrument? If you love someone, tell them! According to her mantra, as long as it doesn’t bring harm to anyone, live your life to the fullest. You can’t be afraid of what people may think, because whether you do or don’t, people will always have something to say.

Goals!

My mom does what makes her happy, but most importantly, she has sacrificed a lot for the people who bring her joy. Thanks Mammy, for all that you’ve done to ensure that Michael, Alex and I are healthy and leading productive lives. You’ve taught me so much that I honestly can’t shrink into one blog post, but I hope that these 5 things I’ve listed give you insight into the amount of gratitude and admiration I have for you. 

To my readers, which lesson speaks the most to you? What lessons have you learnt from your mom? I’d love to know!

Quarantine Connection

Quarantine Connection

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Welcome back guys!

I am hoping that wherever you are, you are fairing through this pandemic as best as you can. 

The chaos surrounding COVID-19 has everyone struggling to find new ways to cope. Alcohol sales have spiked, the social media apps are seeing an influx of active users through Instagram live sessions and TikTok, streaming services such as Netflix, Hulu, Disney+ among others are being flooded to pass the time, and Zoom is dominating the conference call streets. Meanwhile, there are students of all ages, either crying to go back to school to be with friends or have a sense of normalcy, while others are away from home, longing to go back to be with family. Parents are struggling to home school, while others are struggling to find help while juggling jobs of essential care. Some people are dreading working from home, others are dreading working in exposed environments, and others are lamenting the fact that they no longer have a source of income. 

There are so many things that make this time a very uncertain, anxiety filled time, but there is one theme that has become even more important as we are trekking through this thing: Connection. We were created to connect. Furthermore, because of technology and social media, we are even more connected than we once were a decade or two ago. And because of COVID-19, we have been searching for all the ways we can connect to stay sane, really. 

Here are 4 things we should be connected to during this time. Continue reading to find out!

We should connect to…

Ourselves — With the uncertainty and the bombardment of mixed messages about this virus, we have to be grounded. If you are anxious and feel like you are going crazy, I am here to assure you that this is totally normal. I started freaking out when things started shutting down all over, especially knowing that my husband still had to go to work since he is an essential worker. But what helps is finding things that ground you. This is the time to incorporate some self care. This may be as simple as creating a new, soothing skin care routine or a bubble bath, or more complex like seeking professional help. BOTH are very important and even necessary. Invest in yourself. Your body [and mind] is a temple — you have to take care of it, and it can become difficult when your mind is racing and your anxiety levels are creeping up, but I promise you, scheduling some time to take care of yourself will help that. While you invest in yourself, disconnect from avoidable activities that amp up your anxiety or fears, such as negative self talk or comparing yourself to others on social media. Pro tip: teletherapy is very big right now — Talkspace and Better Help are good places to start.

Photo by Burst on Pexels.com

“Invest in yourself”

Fulfilling relationships — I know, I know… one of you is probably thinking, “I do not like people.” And my response to that is, okay lol but you do though. No matter if you’re an extrovert who gets energized by being around fifty-leven people, or you are an introvert who loves your select few for a certain amount of time, we all have relationships that fulfill us. Those relationships where you can be totally yourself, you enjoy yourself, you feel SAFE, and you are at peace even when the whole world is crashing down (which it lowkey feels like it is). Invest in those kinds of relationships. For me personally, I ADORE the people in my life, the real few I keep close to me. I love cuddling up to my husband while watching a movie, I love talking to my family (like my mom – Hi Mammy!), and sending voice notes to my friends. The truth is, we are all affected by this, one way or another, and this is the time to really take stock of the beautiful people in our lives. And you are beautiful to someone too! So, connect connect connect. And if you’re like me that hates video calls, just find another way to connect. Let the people you love know you love them, and be more intentional. Moreover, reconciliation may be needed in relationships with parents, children, friends, etc. If you recognize reconciliation as possible, please exercise compassion, patience, and transparency. Listen to each other and rely on the love you have for one another.

Fulfilling activities — This differs from person to person, but there are activities that either during or after you’ve done them, you feel at peace or better yet, you feel whole. These activities promote who you are and fill you up, and this is important now when the crisis around us feels draining. What activities make you feel great inside? Writing has been a great activity for me and it also plays a part in connecting to myself, which was mentioned above. If you don’t really have an activity that brings you the joy you crave, I would suggest trying new things! Try painting, practicing makeup, reading, doing at-home workouts, cooking a new dish, etc. This connects back to investing in yourself — explore who you are and love yourself through this journey of figuring out what you like and dislike. It is not only a fun process, but it also redirects your focus from the chaos on the outside to what’s on the inside. 

“And you are beautiful to someone too!”

*Sidenote!* Please do not mix this point up with other advice urging you to use this time to start a new business, draft a grant proposal, plant a garden, or get rock-hard abs. While these are amazing activities, do not do them to try to make yourself “more productive”. This is a quarantine, not a down-time in between careers or a vacation. Do them or try them because you are curious about them or because they bring you fulfillment, not because you are meeting society’s standard of what you should be doing.

Photo by Anastasia Shuraeva on Pexels.com

God –We all have a source: something we believe in and connect our very existence to. I am a Christian and I love Jesus (*cue J Moss – Sweet Jesus*), so God is my source. During this heartbreaking time, I think it is crucial to take a moment and connect with God. I entered 2020 really confused as to what the heck is happening, and at the end of the day, only God truly knows what’s going on and why things are going the way they are. Connecting to Him means I have a chance to pour out all my anxieties, all my fears, all my insecurities, all my disappointments with no form of judgment, and all forms of compassion and grace. Use this time to explore Scripture, learn a new verse, change the way you pray, incorporate prayer meditation into your worship, or revisit why you became a believer in the first place. Again, this goes back to investing in yourself, because it is God that remains constant while the whole world is spinning, and reconnecting with Him is a sure way to invite peace into your life and home in a way that passes understanding.

I hope these connection reminders were helpful for you guys, and remember: Don’t beat up yourself — we’re all trying here. I am trying to come out of this quarantine as best as I can considering the circumstances. Try to aim for that and I bet you’ll be okay too. And last reminder, if you need help connecting to any of these things, there are professionals who are willing to connect with you.

Speaking of connection. Connect with me! Comment below some of your fave activities or the people in your life who fulfill you. I’m curious 🙂

Love, Delz

The Analogy of the Safety Pin

The Analogy of the Safety Pin

I love the analogy of the safety pin because it came to me while I was trying to fall asleep for the second time to no avail. And it just popped up. And I’m like thanks brain, but I wish you had given me this inspiration during the day when I was begging you to do so. Anyway! I liken the safety pin to things in life that provide catharsis or intervention. The safety pin is a tool used to fasten pieces of fabric together and comprises of a clasp that holds the pin and fabric in place; it comes in pretty handy, especially during fashion faux pas.

In order to use the safety pin, you first need to identify why you need it. What is it that requires you to use this tool? Is it dress straps that you need to hold in place, or maybe an accidental rip during the day and you need something quick to secure the fabric and save you from embarrassment. Whatever it is, you have to identify the problem. Why do you need your figurative safety pin? Do you feel alone, or maybe you’re having a tough day at work, or deeper than that, you’ve suffered trauma and recognize that it is negatively impacting your life. Whatever it is, admittance is the first step. You have to acknowledge that there is a need for the safety pin before you can use it.

The next thing that happens is opening the safety pin by removing it from its clasp. Opening up is super important. One of the most important and the most beautiful experiences is being vulnerable. It may seem scary, but it is being open about what’s in your heart and mind that will help the process of healing, or solving the issue. Even if it is as seemingly insignificant as having a crappy day because the secretary was mean to you for no reason! Expressing it validates your feelings and can lead to discussions about overcoming.

Here’s the part we all hate. In order for a safety pin to do its job, its sharp end has to pierce the fabric once to go in and once to go out. Sometimes vulnerability hurts. Expressing how you feel about an issue or trauma brings up thoughts, feelings and memories of pain, shame and a myriad of other intense emotions. And to really ensure overcoming, you might have to do it more than once. Personally, it’s the part I hate the most but respect the most. I hate it because it hurts and I’m scared of the outcome of expressing these intense emotions. But I respect it because of how it supports the opening up process. The pin must do this in order to position itself properly for the fabric to be held in place. Pain is an indicator of the realness and validity of you and how you feel. I respect this stage because of what happens next.

Fastening back to the clasp: The safety pin returns to stability. Its clasp does what it is designed to do, hold the pin in place. But now it is utilizing its other function: holding the fabric in place. Now we’re back to where we’ve started, only things aren’t how they were before this whole process. The issue is tackled, and we have overcome! Yes, when you get home you may want to actually repair the dress with some needle and thread, or if it’s too damaged, replace it with something of better quality, but for now your outfit is a bit stronger because of a little tool called the safety pin. 

Some of these posts may act as a safety pin for you — it may bring awareness to an issue, or expose your true feelings, or offer some level of comfort/healing, or all of the above. Safety pins are necessary. They are cool little tools. And they not only help fix minor issues or setbacks in our fabric, they remind us that there might be things we need to adjust, repair, replace, or discard completely.

Love, Delz